24 July 2017

Party of Five

Chantelle of Fat Mum Slim recently published a post expressing her heartache, disappointment and confusion about that question that plagues a lot of mums (and perhaps dads too).

When did you know you were done? 

After taking some time to fall pregnant after having Ned, hubby and I realised we were pretty content with just the one child, and then what felt like a moment later, we found out we were expecting twins.

While it may be controversial and I don't at all mean to be insensitive, I and we are SO done - emotionally as well as financially. 

My ovaries don't ache, I have no desire to cuddle newborn babies and I certainly don't ever daydream about 'just one more'. I actually physically shuddered the other day at the doctor's surgery after the twin's vaccinations at the sound of a newborn wailing and breathed a sigh of relief that that will never be us again. And to be honest, I'm positively terrified at the thought of having any more children.

Financially, we've reached our capacity too. I want to bring my kids up to lead a comfortable life just like my parents did for us and know that if we had any more kids it would challenge those ideals. 

Finally, relationship wise, I feel like all of my love and patience is dedicated to our offspring and trying to keep the ship sailing so to speak that I have little time or energy to place into our relationship as husband and wife. Just the other day the husband advised me that an hour after he'd got home from work I still hadn't said hello. And even when he was telling me that I'd practically ignored him, I still hadn't greeted him and instead was just barking orders at him to help me with getting the twins to bed. That isn't fair at all to him and that is why it wouldn't at all be fair to have any more children. 

Our party of five is just right.

Have you reached your number?

Blogger Tricks

18 July 2017

Less Screen Time : Introducing Pop the Pig

It’s entirely our fault that we’ve created a bit of an iPad monster in the form of a slightly chubby, super cheeky and terribly smart nearly four year old. Newborn twins will do that to you. Two screaming babies and two adults left little time for a three year old craving attention, and we soon discovered that he was quite content with catching up on his fave shows via the ABC kids app. We then discovered the YouTube kids app and Ned fell in love and fascination with people reviewing toys, playing with those toys and even watching people from all over the world open kinder surprise eggs (do your kids do this too?!)

I won’t lie and say he doesn’t still get the iPad more than he probably should but we definitely try and limit his screen time by trying to move his focus to outside activities when time permits, or to age appropriate games and toys.

One of those toys that he selected on a visit to Kmart one day was Pop the Pig. I think letting your kids select a toy (within budget of course) is key in keeping them interested in it, not just on the day you take it home, but many weeks and years to come.
Pop the Pig involves a die and a set of numbered and coloured 'burgers' which are fed to Pig until he bursts. It is great for kids for both their number recognition and counting skills and so fun to play with them as the anticipation builds wondering who is going to literally pop the pig first.

The kids over at Talkin Toys can show you exactly how it works or you can get in on the action by winning one over on the Trainee Mama facebook page.

03 July 2017

Twin Mama Life : Farewell Privacy

One thing that I wasn’t at all prepared for before becoming a mum of multiples was the interest that twins generate. Unfortunately it's not the type that increases your bank balance. All sorts of people are drawn to twins– some will want to chat to you and some are happy to whisper or point without any consideration of your privacy or feelings. Sometimes you almost feel like a bit of a D-grade celebrity who has a reporter and paparazzi ready to jump out and surprise you at any moment.

A quick trip to the shops for bread and milk is a distant memory. These days I really cannot go anywhere without being stopped. The former shy, introverted Peta would have rarely left the house with the twins in fear of being bombarded and not being able to complete whatever she needed to in peace. But, being approached by strangers on the daily kind of pushes you outside of your comfort zone and this twin mama, and mum of three is now well versed in conversations with strangers and happy for the most part to let people ogle and admire, discuss twin science (because everyone is an expert) and talk-twins to everyone and anyone.

While most people’s intentions are lovely and genuine, some comments that multiples-mums get thrown are completely shocking and unnecessary. I once had a woman who was shopping with her grandbaby see the twins in the pram and exclaim ‘poor you, poor you’. She then trotted off and turned around and said it again!

I saw this post a couple of years ago on Uncanny Annie's facebook page and it pretty much sums up how us mamas of multiples sometimes feel. 

I REALLY wanted to leave these signs on the pram today. As a twin mum, you get asked a series of questions/hear a series of statements EVERYTIME you go out. I know most people are coming from a great place and are just curious however many can be quite intrusive and after a while it's just plain exhausting. And since I was heading into the city, I knew the questions would be coming thick and fast... but I chickened out on the train and took them off! 😜

Don't get me wrong. Being a twin mama is so amazing and I never tire of being told how beautiful the girls are or how much of an amazing mum I must be. Anonymity would be nice occasionally though. 

Are you fascinated by twins or multiples?

18 April 2017

Working Mama Life : The Return to Work Edition

Pre-kids I kind of considered myself a bit of a career woman. I graduated University with a Bachelor of Information Technology (with Distinction, because perfectionist) whilst working at the same University progressing through the ranks to eventually be a senior member of a small team supervising three staff. At this stage, I hadn't even pondered having a family as I wasn't one of those people who yearned to have children so I enjoyed the responsibility and wasn't too phased if my work issues came home with me occasionally. We moved to the Sunshine Coast and although I transitioned to the same job/team in a new University, I had essentially demoted myself by applying for a position that I was formerly supervising. At around the same time I found out I was pregnant and it all changed. What initially was a desire to progress and lead in the workplace was the hope to just come in, do my job and leave at the end of the day leaving all stresses and responsibilities in the office. Ned arrived, my maternity leave went way too fast and I returned to work eventually securing a permanent change to my hours to just under 22 hours a week. This allowed me to challenge my brain, take ownership of small projects and mix with a bunch of people who I genuinely enjoyed spending time with whilst also having a decent amount of free time to go to the gym and spend time with Ned. When it came time to leave work again when pregnant with the twins, I'd accrued enough leave to have more than a year off, all paid (most of it at half pay). Today I received an email from my boss letting me know that my return to work date is approaching and I need to formalise my returning arrangements. Wait, what? Didn't I give birth like five minutes ago? Reality is, the girls are ten months old and I'll be returning to work less than a week after their first birthday. Am I excited about it? Not particularly, but I'm also not completely upset about it either. While work means paying others to look after my children, potentially missing big developmental milestones and sacrificing my weekday gym/coffee shop/leisure schedule which I've grown accustomed to, it also means I get to use my natural analytical brain, bring in some additional income, and keep my skills current that I spent years learning and developing. Oh and for this fashion lover, it means I have an excuse to ditch the mum uniform and activewear and frock up a couple of days a week. Admittedly, all I considered initially when thinking about returning to work was money. Would the cost of childcare for three children warrant me working or would we be better financially me not working and staying at home with the kids taking on some additional group fitness classes? Now I'm a little less naive and know there's more to the equation. At this stage I can't predict what my working future will be but I'll be rejoining the workforce as a working mama in about eight weeks. If I can handle twins, surely working will be easy right?