23 October 2014

Things Mamas Do: Poo

I was down at the local shopping centre for a couple of hours this afternoon and so many people commented on how placid and well behaved Ned was. In hindsight, he was too quiet.

As I pulled him out of the pram to get in the car I noticed his back was quite wet {assuming he was just sweaty} but also that recognisable stench which meant a trip back inside to the Myer parents room was necessary. 

As I lay Ned down on the change mat I noticed the poo on his new pants from Katy which wasn't a total disaster ... That sort of shit {pun intended} happens all the time. Only when I undid the buttons of his onesie did I see a little more of the story. It was the poo from hell. Seriously, the most epic poo I've ever encountered.

Not only had it escaped the confines of the nappy, it had escaped the general bum area and travelled far, far north. Ned's whole back was flooded with poo {and to be descriptive, think corn, passionfruit and sultanas} and some had even managed to smear his ear, and unluckily for me, my neck and {not that I noticed till much later}, cheek.

I had only taken the bare minimum with me being wipes and a nappy {clearly clueless about what was I was about to face} so was completely unprepared. I had even left my phone in the car so couldn't capture anything for this post. I had to strip Ned off to survey the damage and considering I only had about half a packet of wipes, which wouldn't have been enough, my only option was to give Ned a bath in the sink. Yep, at Myer. Without a towel. 

Luckily no one came in to witness my full use of the facilities including using hand wash as body wash, my hand as a washer and paper towel for towel. Ned had a great time! The mirror revealed a
large amount of poo had planted itself on my top and I just wanted to get out of there. So I walked out of myer to the lift with a baby in just a nappy with poo on my face {which I didn't realise till later}
and top, I felt I had to explain and apologise for the smell when a couple joined me in the lift on my way to the car. 

I was in desperate need of a coffee so pulled in to my local to grab a coffee and share the poo story with my coffee man. He didn't seem that impressed. Perhaps he was just trying to figure out how to tell me there was poo on my cheek. #awkward

C'mon, tell me, do you have a similar poo story?

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